Art Class And The S Word

Every other Tuesday, Thing 4 heads to the big city for art class. She loves art class, just like she loves piano lessons and dance class. And she's very much looking forward to starting her acting classes. I'm beginning to see a pattern here. Math? Not so much. Anything related to the arts? Definitely.

Recently the S word has come up again. You know..."Don't you worry about socialization?" I don't even like the term socialization. It sounds so forced...like something we do to make people fit in. I find it negative and, frankly, kind of creepy. I suspect that what people really mean is, "Don't you worry that your children will never learn to interact with other children if you keep them locked in your house all day and they never see anyone but you and the UPS man when he makes the almost daily delivery of Amazon packages?" (I'm expecting to hear from the My Strange Addiction people any time now.)

But back to art class. When I walked in yesterday to pick up Thing 4 and her friend, it struck me that this is the way I want my children interacting with other children. On this day, my daughter was sitting in a class of 17 children of many different ages. A couple were close to her age, and most were at least 3-4 years older. It was such a diverse group of kids. I appreciate that she has kids in her class who have been at this art thing longer...kids she can look up to. I appreciate that she has the opportunity to interact with children (and adults) of many ages. The "real world" is made up of many different kinds of people of all ages from many different backgrounds. What better way to learn to relate to people in the real world than to live in the real world every day?

I stood for a bit and listened to the casual conversations going on in the room. The kids were complimenting each other's work, asking "What shade of green do you think would look good here?", talking about past paintings they had done. The teacher was easily facilitating the work going on in the room and it was obvious that the kids respected her and she them. Several of the children (who I didn't know) came up to show me their paintings and asked what I thought about their work. They were very comfortable conversing with me and seemed so mature and, dare I say, normal.

What more could I want for my daughter? Socialization? Not so much. The ability to develop real and valuable interpersonal skills and maybe a true friendship or two? Definitely.

Socialization

When I dropped my daughter off at dance class today, she and another little girl who is homeschooled starting talking about their homeschool experience. A third girl who was listening piped up and said, "Homeschooling isn't good for you." My daughter said, "Why not?" She said, "Because you don't learn to play with other kids." I said, "Oh, that's not true. Who told you that?" Of course, I knew who told her that. I don't know why I asked. I stood there like a fool, listing all the ways my children get social interaction in spite of (actually, because of) their educational experience. Yes, I was arguing the socialization issue with a 7 year old...defending myself and my children as if I were on trial for child abuse. It was ridiculous but I couldn't help myself.

Can I just say how sick to death I am of hearing that "concern"? Why is "socialization" (or lack thereof) the one thing so many homeschool opponents choose to focus on? I suppose it is because people can't really pick on any other aspect of homeschooling. "Hmm, overall, homeschooled children excel in every academic area, so we can't say the kids aren't learning. I know, let's say they weird and unsocialized."

Do people think we sit at home all day, just the three of us, never interacting with the outside world? Do they think my children stand, noses pressed against the glass storm door, watching longingly as the children on the street play together? Do they think we drive past the park and just wave at the children playing there?

Why do people think that spending time in traditional school is the only appropriate way for children to socialize with other children?

Why is sitting in a crowded, noisy lunch room at a table with 25 other children who are trying to eat their lunches in 20 minutes while the lunch lady yells at them better for children than a group of 12 homeschooled children eating a leisurely lunch at a picnic table outside?

Why is being teased on the playground at school better socially than a multi-aged group of children playing a game of football after our science class?

Why is my child looking at pictures of a naked woman on another child's cell phone in the hall at school (yes, my child saw this) preferable to him taking a trip to the art museum with a couple of other homeschooled children?

Never in a million years would I go up to a parent of a traditionally schooled child and ask, "Don't you worry how all the negative stuff that happens at public school will affect your child's self-esteem?" Yet so many non-homeschooling parents feel free to question and criticize what I'm doing and talk about how it will negatively affect my children. (By the way, as a parent of two children who attend public school, I do worry about all the negative things they experience there.)

Here's the real story. I find the "socialization" issue to be a challenge, but it's not in the way you would think. We have so many opportunities to socialize with other children that I have to carefully choose what we do or we would never be home to do our schoolwork.

We have been on more field trips than I can count. We have had play dates at the park. We "school" with a group of 10 other children every Monday. We go to the gym and play with other kiddos. We meet with our co-op for Culture Club. My children take lessons, go to church, play outside with the dozen or so other kids who live on our block. I think they'll be fine.

Really, the horse is dead. Let's stop beating it.

Recess And The Outdoor Classroom

I am so fortunate that my good friend and neighbor also Otherwise Educates her children. We do lots of activities together, including recess. If we didn't have her children for my children to play with, my children would be even weirder and less socialized than they already are.

Friday was beautiful here in windy OK. It was much too pretty to be inside, especially given that we have been cooped up for months thanks to an unusually cold, wet winter. It also happened to be Thing 4's 8th birthday, and who wants to do school work on their birthday? So, the kiddos headed outside for a longer-than-normal recess and some outdoor learning.

(By now you know that she dresses herself, yet I still feel compelled to publish a disclaimer.)

While I believe that children need adult directed teaching, I also think that children need time to be children and to do what children are created to do...that is, to learn by doing. Children's lives today are much too scheduled, structured and adult-led. I love to see them doing their thing without parents interfering.

Kids learn a lot when they play with each other and adults leave them alone.

For example, on Friday, these boys learned that if you're having a RipStik competition and the little sister of one of the competitors is the judge:

...chances are she is going to award, at her discretion, a bonus point for "politeness" and her brother will win the competition. Very important life lesson, doncha think?

My Weird, Unsocialized Home Schooled Kids

This was Home School Day at a local gymnastics gym. The kiddos can't wait until we go again later this month! 

Anti Social: A Comedy of Homeschoolers

I don't know why, but this video makes me literally LOL! People spend an inordinate amount of time worrying that home schoolers are raising social misfits. Like I tell everyone who expresses their concern for my children in that regard...my children were weird before I took them out of school.  And I mean that in the nicest way.