Finding the passion again

When I started this crazy experiment, I was beyond excited about learning at home with my children. I researched curriculum options until I couldn't see straight. I read more books and blogs on homeschooling than I can count. I blogged every sad science experiment we did. We field tripped, co-oped, crafted and nature walked our little hearts out those first two years. It was wonderful and we loved it. When I look back on those years, I just feel all warm inside. I wouldn't trade that time for all the money in the world. As time has gone on, we've fallen into a rut. We are bored. I hate to admit it, but homeschooling just isn't fun anymore. It used to be a way of life. It has turned into something we check off so we can move on with our day.

One by one, our homeschooling friends are going back to school. I admit that I'm tempted. Wouldn't it be nice to "just" be the mom? No more answering "What do we have to do for school today?" No more  Sunday night list making. No more worrying and stressing about whether or not I'm teaching them everything they need to know. More coffee with girl friends. More time to clean and organize my house. Maybe I could finally get to that four year old to-do list.

Whenever I am trying to make a big decision, my wise younger sister always advises me to envision my day to day life as it will be if a make the change. When I envision my life with my kiddos back in school, I don't like what I see. I see rushed mornings. I see kids coming home exhausted after spending  all day at school yet still facing two to three hours of homework at night. I see me opening up a lunch box and finding a lunch that wasn't eaten because my child was being teased at the lunch table and couldn't "stomach" eating. (Ugh... I still get teary when I remember that event.) I see busy work, stress over state tests, drug dogs... I could go on and on. I see these things because I have seen them. I've done this before. It's less than 70 days until my second son graduates from public school (not that I'm counting). Having had two children go to public school from K-12, I know of what I speak.  As I have said over and over and over, my kids have had some fantastic teachers and experiences in public school. They have also had some not-so-great experiences. I'm just not ready to travel that road again... yet.

I'm not saying my children will never go back to school.  I don't know what tomorrow holds. When people ask how long I'm going to do this, I often respond, "At least until next week." What I do know is that I really like my life right now the way it is. I love learning with my children. I love not feeling rushed. I love walking into the family room and seeing them bundled up by the fireplace reading or working on math. The flexibility is priceless. It's wonderful to be able to drop the books and go spend time in nature on a beautiful day.  I like being able to allow them to follow their interests instead of having to follow someone's idea of what they should be learning at this point in time. When I focus on the the good things, I realize that there is a lot that I would miss.

So... I have started reading John Holt again. I'm reading homeschool blogs and books.  I watched Sir Ken's Ted Talk for the umpteenth time. I have committed to making new connections with other homeschoolers. I am going back through the pictures of our first two years of homeschooling and re-reading my blogs from those days. I'm even considering going to a local homeschool convention, which will be new for me. I am reminding myself of why I started this journey in the first place and it gives me renewed passion to continue. Thanks for following along.

"What children need is not new and better curricula but access to more and more of the real world; plenty of time and space to think over their experiences, and to use fantasy and play to make meaning out of them; and advice, road maps, guidebooks, to make it easier for them to get where they want to go (not where we think they ought to go), and to find out what they want to find out." ~ John Holt

A very long overdue post

It's been months and months since I've blogged. We switched things up a little last year with the kiddos going to a Montessori school a couple of days a week. It was a good fit for them, but it caused a real time crunch for me, trying to cram five days of lessons into three days. I felt like I didn't have time to do anything extra, so the blog got put on the back burner. I regret not having blogged much last year because I really enjoy going back through my old posts from the first couple of years and seeing what we did.  It's a homeschool diary.

Today was a beautiful day here in OK so we headed out to the nature preserve this afternoon. It's one of our favorite local places to hike, and every time we go there, I wonder why we don't go more often.

While we were hiking around, 

looking for letters in nature for art projects for the kids' rooms, 

enjoying having our pictures taken,

and watching butterflies do their thing, 

I had a moment of clarity. 

Lately, I've been feeling like I'm at a crossroads with this whole Otherwise Educating thing. This is our fourth year, and I've loved it. I haven't loved everything about it. There have been days when I have not loved it at all. But overall, it has been a wonderful experience for me and for my children. I wouldn't care if they hadn't learned anything (they have), I would not trade the time I have had with them for all the money in the world. However, we are quickly approaching the high school years with Thing 3, and Thing 4 has been telling me she wants to go back to school. She doesn't want to go back to any school. She thinks she might want to go back to public school. You know, that place from which I rescued her over three years ago. 

I've had many conversations in my head, with my husband, with my neighbor and favorite homeschool mom about whether or not to continue on this path. I wonder if my children would be learning more in school.  Would they be better off socially? I have doubts about my ability to homeschool high school.  It's one thing to homeschool elementary school kids. Anyone can teach state capitals and multiplication tables. But how will I teach geometry, chemistry, writing? Can I do this for the long term? Do I even want to? Should I have done this at all?

And then, as she often does, Thing 4 said something that brought me back to the moment. She has been learning about food chains and food webs. Before we headed out today, we covered (for the third time) the various parts of the food chain...producers, consumers, scavengers, decomposers. As we walked past a log that had been eaten by termites, I casually mentioned, "Oh look. Termites have been eating that log. Where do you suppose termites fall in the food chain?" She looked at me, looked at the log, thought for a minute and shouted, "Decomposers! They're decomposers. And look, Mom! You can see how they're breaking down this log. It's turning back into soil." Then, "Wow. You know, it's one thing to read about decomposers, but when I can actually see and touch what they've done, I really get it." 

And that's why I do what I do. I'm doing it again tomorrow. After that, who knows? For now, I'm just going to enjoy the moment.

Biomes and Deep Thoughts

Thing 3 is learning about the Earth's biomes so last week we headed out to Red Bud Valley Nature Preserve to do a little biome study. Red Bud Valley is interesting because in one relatively small area, you can observe both forest and grassland biomes. Because of the different conditions, the variety of plant life is vast.

I love nature walks because they offer so many opportunities to learn. On the cliff side of the preserve, we talked about rock formations and the different types of rocks we saw. My child who loves textures had to touch them all.

The kids did a little nature journaling.

Thing 3 did lots of observation and made many notes.



My hunter hunted.



And my gatherer gathered.


As I was walking behind my children, watching them experience their science lesson that day, it hit me that *this* is why I homeschool. Sure, the flexibility is great. No homework is great. I love that we don't do fundraisers anymore. Doing school in our pajamas is fun. But for me, it really all boils down to days like this...days when my children can spend time learning by doing, touching, seeing, hearing and smelling.

I'm so thankful for that I am able to spend this kind of time with these sweet children and I know that I will never regret a moment of it.